


nearer, my god, to thee

by cosmicpoet



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, RMS Titanic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 16:27:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16664191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicpoet/pseuds/cosmicpoet
Summary: Maki Harukawa doesn't think it's the trip of a lifetime to be on the RMS Titanic. It's just another way for her to keep plodding along. Until she finds herself enamoured by Kaito Momota, Morse Code Operator.But this is the Titanic, and the inevitable cannot change because two people are in love.





	nearer, my god, to thee

It’s as though her life has been written on ageing paper, folded to fit into the only pocket of the only coat she owns. She has to grip her calloused hands around it, aching for it not to fall through the moth eaten fabric that she would once have hoped could have been silk; long gone are the days, now, where she yearns for something better. Unravelling the paper does not mean opening up a fresh start - it’s just a necessity; her plodding feet are twenty years weary, and there’s no hope in her heart that America will be any better than here.

Still, to get even a third class ticket to the Titanic, she must have some luck. And perhaps she’s used it all already, her light shoes tapping against the wooden boarding ramp, just to be here. There are holes in the fabric of her shoes, where her socks poke through, but it doesn’t really matter - one day soon, she might just jump off the edge of the boat on a cold April night, give herself to the waters, and end her journey perfectly, liminally.

* * *

 

Finally, as though the inevitable takes her by the hand, she shows her ticket and pushes through the crowd, all the way down, so far that it seems, almost, as though she’s falling into Hell. But no, she’s only on her way to the third class cabins, her hand grasping so tightly onto her tiny suitcase that she seems to lose all balance elsewhere. She trips. Falls. Her suitcase bursts open.

“Step back, please, everyone,” she hears someone say behind her, “whilst I assist this lady. You’ll find a diverted route if you double back on yourselves and take the first left.”

“I can _assist_ myself,” she replies curtly, looking up to see a man dressed neatly in a waistcoat, a pocket watch chain marking the curves of his body from waist to top pocket.

“My apologies. I didn’t mean to imply…well, it’s better this way anyway, isn’t it, ma’am? This way, nobody will tread on your belongings.”

“You can drop the _ma’am_. I’m hardly one of the first class passengers.”

“What may I call you, then?”

“Nothing. I doubt we’ll be meeting again.”

“You won’t be needing to send any telegrams, then?”

“Telegrams? You’re…”

“Kaito Momota, Senior Morse Code Operator, at your service. Did you think I was a fellow passenger?”

“Oh. Yes, I assumed…I’m Maki, anyway. Harukawa.”

“Nice to meet you, Maki ‘Anyway’ Harukawa. I can show you to your room if you’d like.”

“Sure, why not? So, you know morse, then?”

“That I do. Fastest operator this side of the universe, if I do say so myself.”

“You won’t be getting a challenge from me any time. I can barely keep up at best of times. It’s nice to know, though.”

“Oh! You know morse as well?”

“Yes.”

“Interesting. I haven’t really met any…”

“What, women who know morse code?”

“Well, yes. Apologies again,” Kaito says.

“It’s not the worst thing I’ve heard directed at me. Is this my room?”

“Yeah. I’ll be seeing you around, then.”

“Not likely,” Maki replies, shutting the door behind her. The steerage cabin is small, but roomier than she expected, far more than she’s ever been used to. There are three other people in here, and they smile when she enters.

“Looks like you’re the last one of us,” one of her cabin-mates says, “I’m Tenko. And you are?”

“Maki.”

“Well, darlin’, pleasure to meet you, Maki! Here we’ve got Kaede - she’s apparently a pianist, so we’ll all have to go and check out the third class piano later! And this is Himiko, she’s travelling with me. We’re…friends.”

“Right.”

Maki slumps down onto the bottom bunk of the bed to her left - it’s the only one left that’s free, but she doesn’t mind. Long gone are her days of orphanage bunk beds, the irrational fear that they would fall in the night and crush her flat. She’s in a daze of thought when Tenko’s voice pulls her out.

“Hey, you know how lucky we are, right? We’ve only got four of us in this cabin, it’s like I’m the Queen of England me’self! I heard from Kokichi that he’s sharing with eight others.”

“Mhm,” Maki hums noncommittally.

“So, you busy tonight, Maki? Or do you wanna join us to watch Kaede play?” Himiko asks.

“I, uh, I was actually thinking of heading down to…never mind. I’m busy, anyway. Sorry. Another time, maybe.”

“Well, no worries,” Kaede says with a smile, “I’ll be there a lot. It’ll be hard to drag me away from such an amazing piano, even if the ship decides to bloody well sink! Although you know what they say - unsinkable, she is.”

“Nothing’s unsinkable,” Maki says, “you be careful, now.”

* * *

 

She doesn’t take part much in any of the following conversations, she only casually tosses a ‘goodbye’ and a wave when the trio leave for the piano room. And then she’s alone again, which she usually likes, but for some reason, she’s curious now about the Marconi system on this grand ship. Without even knowing where it is, she finds herself wandering the halls, stopping to ask passing White Star Line employees for vague directions, until she’s planted in front of the door to the room she’s been looking for.

There’s no need for knocking, she just walks right in.

“Ma’am, are you lost?”

It’s a man she doesn’t recognise - smaller than Kaito if her estimate serves her right, with black hair tied back from his face with a little ribbon.

“No.”

“Passengers aren’t usually allowed -”

“It’s fine, Shuichi, she’s with me. Hey, Maki,” Kaito says, “come to check out the best technology across all the oceans?”

“Yeah. I’m interested, is all.”

“Well, it’s Shuichi’s turn to handle any incoming messages, and I can rest up a bit, so I can give you a little tour if you like. You got this on your own, Shuichi?”

“Y-Yeah, Kaito,” Shuichi says, putting the headset back on and tapping out a series of dits and dahs.

“So, Maki,” Kaito extends his hand, and she takes it without thinking - it would be more awkward to pull away now, “if you go through here, you’ll see where we sleep when one of us is off duty. It’s small, but it keeps us going. You’re probably familiar with all the equipment, aren’t you?”

She nods.

“What else do you wanna see?”

“I don’t really know. I just thought it’d be a waste to be on the grandest ship in the whole world and _not_ take a look at the Marconi system. I’ll be out of your hair now.”

Turning to leave, she feels Kaito hold her back. It was easy - too easy - to forget that she was holding his hand.

“Wait,” he says, “come for a walk with me. Getting cooped up in this room is no fun. I want to walk on the deck.”

“Alright. I won’t keep you too long, though. I don’t want to get you in any trouble.”

Kaito pulls his coat from his open suitcase, bundling himself up in the thick material. He doesn’t look _rich_ by any means, but she guesses that he’s never really had to wonder where his next meal is coming from, either. 

“Shall we stop by your cabin to get your coat, then?” Kaito asks. She turns her face away.

“N-No. It’s…it’s fine.”

“It’s really cold up there!”

“It’s _fine,_ Kaito.”

“Whatever you say,” he laughs, offering her his hand again. She rationalises that it would be strange not to take it, having done so before, and uses this justification to hold onto him.

He was right, though. It’s freezing in the night air on the deck, but it’s worth it to see the stars pricking themselves against the sky, almost like the whole universe is a blanket, and she’s witnessing the first peek of something beyond comprehension. The magnitude of something so large, a vast, endless impasse in a great gasping nothing; colourless, and yet brilliant in its own midnight, each dot becoming something greater, something more, something so so far away that she imagines she can touch it if only she believes.

“It’s…it’s beautiful,” Kaito whispers, and she turns towards him. The light of the ship illuminates his face, cast against a backdrop of stars, and she can see the silver wisps of his breath in the night air. She can’t tear her eyes away.

“Yes. It’s breathtaking,” she says.

And then there’s just the two of them, the stars, and the everything else.

* * *

 

But work must be work, and the days pass as leisurely as they can whilst she’s bored and tired. Being on the Titanic was fun at first, and she never thought she’d think this, but there’s only so much grandeur that she can stand before everything blurs into meaninglessness as usual. She wants to see Kaito again, but he’s either asleep or working every time she stops by the Marconi room, and so there’s nothing for her to really do except for wait for the voyage to be over.

Still, she takes walks on the deck each night, looking at the stars. The warmest thing she has to wear is a cardigan, and even that is riddled with holes, but the shivering pales in comparison to how the stars look every night; she wants to be smart enough to track their position in the sea, but all she can do is get lost in the familiar constellations that push themselves to become the stage setting of her life.

Then, a crash.

Then, ice.

Then, panic. Not the kind of panic where alarm bells ring, where everyone runs around. This is the kind of panic that thrives in the silence of shadows, creeps up throats, turning the body against itself so that the throat begins to close in. This panic aches like a cold knife is slitting through every inch of flesh, like static once within, forcing its way out in the grey blur of horror. This panic, once settled, will never remove itself fully, dust on thick layers of grime, and nothing will ever be the same.

Someone shouts ‘iceberg’. Someone runs from a watchtower. Someone familiarises themselves with the panic.

Everything is hushed for as long as it can be. Perhaps ten minutes pass, and perhaps Mr Andrews loses hope, but the certainty of the matter is that Maki Harukawa can not move from the side of the deck; a force to be reckoned with. 

Then, Himiko. Running towards her. Something being shouted. Something being said. Someone crying.

“Maki! Thank goodness, thank _goodness_ you’re here! I was taking a walk below decks and I heard the crash, and I think something’s fallen in the room because I can’t open the door! And…T-Tenko and Kaede…they’re inside! They’re trapped, Maki!”

“Alright, alright, calm down,” she says, “I’ll sort it out. Just…come with me.”

She leads Himiko, unconsciously, to the Marconi room. Pushing open the door, she recognises the panic on Kaito and Shuichi’s faces as parallel to her own.

“No time to explain. Himiko needs to be somewhere safe for the next ten minutes. She won’t bother you, I just need to take care of some things.”

Kaito nods solemnly, and then, wasting no time, Maki runs from the room in the direction of her cabin.

Himiko was right, the door is blocked. There must be a shelf or something blocking it from the other side, and knowing how heavy a sleeper Tenko is, it’s unlikely that Kaede will have been able to move it all by herself - if she’s even awake, that is.

Using all the force she can muster, she braces herself for impact and hits the door full on. After a few hits, it splinters, and she can force her arm through to unblock the piece of wood that’s holding it shut. The noise wakes Tenko and Kaede, both of whom jolt up from their beds in terror.

“Quick, follow me! No, don’t grab your things, there’s no time! Come on!”

Following Maki’s orders, Tenko and Kaede scrabble to put on their coats. Thinking quickly, she grabs the lifejackets from the top of the closet and shoves them into their arms, but there are only two there, and so she mumbles something about having one in another room somewhere, and ushers the pair out of the room and down the corridor.

Once they get to the Marconi room, Himiko runs out and hugs Tenko with full force.

“Get to the deck,” Maki says, “keep running and don’t look back! Get onto a lifeboat by whatever means necessary, go, go on!”

Tenko nods, grabbing Kaede and Himiko’s hands. With a forceful nod of thanks towards Maki, unspoken between them that Tenko already knows this is where they part, the three of them begin to run once more until they’re out of sight.

“Maki!” Kaito says, tossing the headset to Shuichi in haste as he crosses the room towards her.

“Kaito!”

“Hurry up, you can still catch up to them. Oh, look at you, you don’t have a lifejacket. Here,” he unbuckles the one around his waist, but she pushes his hand back down, not letting him take it off.

“No, Kaito.”

“What?”

“I’m not leaving. You and Shuichi are the only ones responsible for all of the distress messages. I know the codes - CQD, and we could even use the new SOS if we need. Face it, an extra pair of hands will make this a lot quicker.”

“I can’t put a civilian in danger. Especially not…”

“A woman?”

“No. I was going to say…especially not you.”

“You don’t have a choice here, Kaito. I’m staying. The longer you drag this out, the more time you’re wasting.”

Kaito halts. “Fine. But the moment it gets any more dangerous, you have to go, okay?”

“Alright.”

She sits down, getting to work immediately, helping with the relay of messages, whilst Shuichi taps away at the key and Kaito works on the system to keep it running for as long as they all can. Even when the captain comes in, telling them they’re relieved of duty without even noticing that there’s an extra person in the Marconi room, she doesn’t stop.

“Maki,” Kaito says, “you have to go. They’ll be filling up the lifeboats and that’s your only chance to get out of here.”

“Not without you. Either we stay and work, or we get off this ship, but whatever I do, I’m doing it with you.”

“You can’t! Don’t you dare throw your life away for -”

“Then don’t throw yours away!”

“It’s my _job.”_

“And you’ve just been relieved of duty, so you can’t use that as an excuse!”

“Why do you even care?!”

“Because…because I’ve never had someone treat me like an equal before! And I’m not going to give that up just because of some stupid ship sinking.”

“Maki, please…”

“No, Kaito. I’m staying. You need my help.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, pulling her into a surprise hug. She’s taken off guard, and when she realises what he’s doing, it’s too late to stop him; she feels his lifejacket clip around her, and then he’s pushing her away until Shuichi catches her, restraining her arms.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Maki screams.

“Shuichi,” Kaito closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath, “thank you. Get her to safety.”

“Don’t you dare!”

Shuichi lifts her into the air, and despite her fists landing blows against his back, she can’t break free from his grasp.

“I’ve got this from here, Shuichi, you just get her onto a lifeboat. And get yourself to safety, too. I’ll work the system until the power goes out.”

“God speed,” Shuichi says.

“Good luck.”

Shuichi turns, carrying her across his shoulder and out of the door. Craning her neck upwards, Maki catches a last glimpse of Kaito, his face resolute, putting the headset on his head and sighing with the weight of his full body.

* * *

 

The deck is crowded, but Shuichi has enough determination within him to push through the straggles of people and stop a lifeboat just before it’s about to set off.

“Wait!” Maki shouts.

“What?”

“They can’t…you can’t let this lifeboat go! It’s barely half full…and there aren’t enough to go around anyway!”

“Shut up,” an officer turns to her, “what do you know?”

“I know that you’re sentencing half the people on this ship to death if you let that lifeboat go.”

In the distance, she spots Tenko, holding tightly onto Kaede and Himiko. She calls over for them, watching them run towards her voice.

“At least let these three on,” she begs. The officer nods without meeting her eye, allowing for the trio to step onboard; she notices, now, that Himiko is crying, and remembering back to when she saw her earlier, it dawns on Maki that she’s probably been crying the whole time.

As the lifeboat lowers, she finds herself pushed towards another one, and yet she refuses to get on.

“Up you go,” she hears a voice behind her, and then there are strong hands against her waist, lifting her onto the new lifeboat. She whips her head around to see two men - the one lifting her is muscly, with long, curly dark hair and glasses, and his companion has unnaturally pastel green hair and a slight, sad smile on his face.

“No, please,” she says, “you take my spot. I’m not getting on here.”

“Nonsense,” the man holding her says, “a gentleman would never take a lifeboat spot from a lady. And besides, we’re going to go down with this ship, dressed in our best.”

The lifeboat floor hits the soles of her feet, the sharp action rippling up her legs and knocking her back for a moment. And then, before she can even jump back onto the sinking ship, the lifeboat is lowered and Maki Harukawa is damned to the sea.

Her body is numb. She hasn’t felt a real physical sensation since she was back in the Marconi room, and it’s only when the freezing air hits her face that she realises she’s wearing Kaito’s coat. He must have put it on her with the lifejacket, and she curses the fact that when he gets onto a lifeboat, he’ll be dreadfully cold. _When_ he gets on a lifeboat. She has to keep thinking that way.

But the stars seem to mock her, now. All she can remember is the beautiful sight of his face, gentle against the horizons of the universe, enamoured by the stars that she hopes he can still see now. But there’s something else as a backdrop now, the sight of the great ship, tipping upwards like it’s trying to reach those very same stars before it ends up miles under the surface level of the ocean, and she can’t tear her eyes away. It would be disrespectful to deny those poor souls, dying in the depths, the last audience of their lives. Someone, anyone, even Maki Harukawa, will know that at one point in time, in a little corner of the universe, atop a vast ocean, people existed. They lived, and they died.

* * *

 

The Carpathia is a saving grace, or, at least, it should have been. But the cold and the panic have seeped their way into the marrow of her bones by now, and it’s almost the end of the world.

Tenko’s face passes her by, and she looks shell-shocked. Holding hands with Himiko, she doesn’t talk; if she sees Maki, neither of them will say a word to the other anyway.

Later, she will learn that the lifeboat she made them get on capsized. Later, she will learn how they never found Kaede’s body. Later, for the rest of her life, she’ll blame herself for not letting Tenko take charge, get them onto a different lifeboat.

But now, she just walks onwards, aimlessly, the morning sky assaulting her with the chill.

Shuichi falls into time with her steps.

“He didn’t make it, did he?” Maki asks.

Shuichi shakes his head. “I asked. I keep saying his name, hoping that someone knows anything, but…nothing. He’s not registered on the Carpathia. Which means…”

“He died on the Titanic.”

And then, today becomes every day. The time before Kaito, the time with Kaito, and then the infinite time after, where the stars are dead, and the panic that seeps into her skin cools every part of her, until she can close her eyes and imagine making different choices that she’ll never get the chance to rectify.

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday fic for my wonderful friend Ari! She's [@Miss_Arilicious](https://twitter.com/Miss_Arilicious) on Twitter; please check out her art, it's so wonderful and inspires me so much! And she's a great person, too, so I hope you have the loveliest birthday ever!
> 
> Please comment if you liked this <3


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